My mommy style was more a mindset than the clothes I was wearing.
It’s no secret that moms wear many hats.
When I look at myself, I see a mother of twins, an entrepreneur, and a wife – but I know there is so much more to me than the roles I fulfill.
For my mommy style, it was just yoga pants and big shirts so I could accommodate breastfeeding. I try my best to not get caught up in being a “mom” 24/7, even though motherhood is one of the most rewarding and challenging experience in my life.
There’s no denying that when a woman becomes a mother, her life is forever changed.
I’m responsible for nurturing, protecting, and raising another human being, and my identity is transformed in the process.
While motherhood is undoubtedly a beautiful and fulfilling journey, it can also be challenging, overwhelming, and at times, cause a woman to feel like she’s lost herself!
That’s why I want to talk about how to love your mommy style, embrace the mom you are, and regain your identity when you feel lost.
Ready to get started?
My Mommy Style: Defining Who You Are as a Mother
Every mother has a unique parenting style that is often referred to as “my mommy style.”
Like I said, it was all yoga pants and big shirts for me.
My mommy style is a reflection of my personality, values, and beliefs, and it evolved as I grow and learned as a parent.
To love your mommy style, you first need to understand what it is and how it shapes the way you parent!
Take a moment to reflect on your parenting journey so far:
- What are some of the things that make you feel like a great mom?
- What are some of the things you struggle with?
- What are your values when it comes to parenting?
- What do you want your child to learn from you?
These are all questions that can help you define your mommy style.
Once you have a better understanding of your mommy style, you can start to embrace it.
Embracing your mommy style means being true to who you are as a mother and not comparing yourself to others.
It’s important to remember that there is no one-size-fits-all approach to parenting, and what works for one family may not work for another!
Embracing the Mom You Are: Letting Go of Guilt and Embracing Imperfection
One of the biggest challenges of motherhood is letting go of guilt and embracing imperfection.
As a mother, you want to do everything perfectly, but this is simply not possible.
You will make mistakes, and that’s okay. The key is to learn from your mistakes and move forward.
Trust me, I’ve made many during my parenting journey!
Am I enough? Is what I’m doing okay in the long run?
Is all this crying damaging?
But to embrace the mom you are, you need to let go of guilt. Guilt is a common feeling among mothers, and it can be overwhelming.
Whether you feel guilty for not spending enough time with your child, not being able to breastfeed, or not being the perfect mom, it’s important to recognize that these feelings are normal.
Instead of dwelling on guilt, focus on the positive things you do as a mother.
Here are some examples of how you can be more positive in your mommy style:
1. Mindful Moments
Take time each day to appreciate and cherish the special moments with your child.
These can be as simple as reading a bedtime story, enjoying a shared giggle, or watching your little one explore the world.
For me, I love when my twins want to help me bake. We bake muffins, cookies and cakes and it’s a great time to enjoy the time we have and to learn how to share and socialize.
2. Gratitude Journal
Keep a gratitude journal where you can jot down the things you are grateful for as a mother.
This will help you stay focused on the positive aspects of your parenting journey and remind you of your strengths.
3. Positive Affirmations
Develop a list of positive affirmations that resonate with your mommy style.
Repeat these affirmations daily to help reinforce your confidence and belief in your parenting abilities.
4. Surround Yourself with Support
Connect with other moms who share your values and beliefs.
Having a supportive network of friends can help you feel more positive and uplifted in your parenting journey.
5. Focus on Progress, Not Perfection
Remember that it’s okay to make mistakes and learn from them. Rather than striving for perfection, celebrate your progress and growth as a mother.
Being a mom is not about being perfect but about doing the best you can with what you have.
Embracing imperfection also means being comfortable with the fact that you are not just a mother, but a person with other interests, passions, and goals.
So it’s important to carve out time for yourself and pursue your own interests, whether it’s reading a book, going for a walk, or taking a class.
This can help you regain your identity and feel more fulfilled as a person!
Losing Your Identity and Finding Yourself Again
When you become a mother, your identity undergoes a significant transformation.
You are no longer just an individual – you are now responsible for nurturing and caring for another human being.
This can be an incredible and fulfilling experience, but it can also be overwhelming and all-consuming.
It’s easy to lose sight of who you are outside of being a mother, and this can lead to feelings of loss and confusion.
Finding yourself again is about rediscovering who you are as an individual, separate from your role as a mother.
It’s about reconnecting with your interests, passions, and goals and remembering that you have unique talents and strengths that are not related to motherhood.
Here are some ways to find yourself again:
- Reconnect with your interests: What did you love to do before becoming a mother? Maybe you enjoyed painting, playing an instrument, or hiking. Whatever your interests are, make time to pursue them again. This can be a great way to reconnect with who you are as an individual.
- Explore new hobbies: Motherhood can be a great opportunity to try new things. Maybe you’ve always wanted to learn to cook, take up yoga, or start a garden. Trying new things can be a fun and rewarding way to rediscover your identity.
- Pursue your goals: Do you have personal or professional goals that you’ve been putting on hold? Maybe you want to go back to school, start a business, or write a book. Whatever your goals are, don’t be afraid to pursue them. It’s never too late to go after your dreams.
- Connect with other adults: It’s important to have social connections outside of motherhood. Make time to connect with your partner, friends, family members, or colleagues who share your interests or values. This can be a great way to feel more connected to the world outside of motherhood.
- Focus on your self-care: Self-care is an important aspect of finding yourself again as a mom, and taking care of yourself is essential for your mental and physical health. Self-care doesn’t have to be expensive or time-consuming – it can be something as simple as taking a relaxing bath or writing in a journal.
- Talk to someone: If you are struggling with feelings of loss or confusion related to your mom identity, there’s nothing wrong with speaking to a professional. They can help you explore the underlying causes of your feelings and provide you with strategies to manage them.
Remember, finding yourself again doesn’t mean neglecting your responsibilities as a mother. It means prioritizing self-care and nurturing your own identity so that you can be a better mother.
When you feel fulfilled as a person, you are better able to handle the challenges of motherhood with grace and patience.
Don’t be afraid to take the time to rediscover who you are outside of being a mother. It’s a journey that can be rewarding and fulfilling, both for you and your family!
The Importance of Connecting With Other Moms
So even though you want to rediscover your identity apart from being a mom, it’s also important that you connect with other moms in your life.
Motherhood can be isolating, especially if you are a stay-at-home mom or if you are the first among your friends to have children.
It can be difficult to relate to others who don’t have children or who are in a different stage of life.
Connecting with other mothers can be a great way to find support, encouragement, and understanding.
Joining a moms’ group or attending playdates can help you meet other mothers who are going through the same joys and struggles of motherhood.
You can share your experiences, ask for advice, and offer support to others. This can help you feel less alone and more connected to a community of women who understand what you’re going through.
Another benefit of connecting with other mothers is that it can help you rediscover your interests and passions.
When you are around other mothers, you may discover new hobbies or activities that you enjoy.
You may also find that you have more in common with others than you thought, and that can help you feel more connected to yourself and others.
It’s important to remember that finding yourself again doesn’t mean neglecting your responsibilities as a mother.
Rather, it means taking the time to nurture yourself so that you can be a better mother. When you feel fulfilled as a person, you are better able to handle the challenges of motherhood with grace and patience.
Recognize the Depleted Mother Syndrome You Might Have
It’s not uncommon for new moms to experience what’s known as the “Depleted Mother Syndrome.”
This is characterized by physical and emotional exhaustion, often stemming from the demands of caring for a newborn.
It can manifest itself in many ways, like fatigue, feelings of overwhelm, and emotional stress.
As a new mom, it’s vital to recognize these symptoms and seek ways to overcome them, ensuring you can fully embrace your unique mommy style.
With Depleted Mother Syndrome you might have:
- Sleepless nights spent tending to your baby’s needs, leaving you feeling drained and unable to function the next day.
- Struggling to balance work, household chores, and childcare, causing you to feel overwhelmed and stretched thin.
- Feeling as though you’re losing touch with your friends, hobbies, and interests, resulting in emotional isolation and feelings of loneliness.
If you believe you might be experiencing Depleted Mother Syndrome, it’s important to acknowledge these feelings and take proactive steps to regain balance and joy in your life.
Here are some tips to help new moms come out of this syndrome and flourish in their motherhood journey:
1. Seek Help
Don’t hesitate to ask for help from your partner, family members, or friends.
They can assist you with tasks such as meal preparation, laundry, or childcare, providing you with some much-needed respite.
2. Prioritize Self-Care
Make time for activities that nourish your mind, body, and soul.
This could include regular exercise, meditation, or indulging in a creative hobby.
Remember, taking care of yourself is not a luxury but a necessity to be the best mom you can be.
3. Establish a Routine
Creating a daily routine can help bring structure and predictability to your life, making it easier to manage your responsibilities.
Be flexible and willing to adjust the routine as needed to accommodate your baby’s needs and your energy levels.
4. Consider Professional Help
If your feelings of depletion are persistent or overwhelming, consider seeking the help of a mental health professional.
They can provide guidance and coping strategies tailored to your unique situation.
Embrace the Mom You Are!
There you go!
By finding yourself again and embracing your unique mommy style, you can rediscover your passions, goals, and strengths outside of motherhood.
So go ahead and embrace the mom you are, and love your mommy style!