New mom? Learn the truth behind being a stay-at-home mom.
It’s been five years since I’ve been a stay-at-home mom. I had a complicated pregnancy with my twins and at 23 weeks was put on bed rest. I was ready to deliver my twins at 25 weeks.
Luckily, I made it to 37 weeks and 2 days and delivered healthy twins.
I knew at that time I wanted to stay home with them. They were little and they needed me! Plus, any daycare costs for twins would just eat up my paychecks.
So, I stayed home and started blogging and here I am 🙂
If you are pregnant or a new mom and you want to stay home for good, here are some hard truths and lessons I learned.
1. House Work Is Never Done
Organizing is always on my list of things to do, but by the end of the day, it is the last thing on my list!
And I should know better since decluttering can save you thousands in the long run. But, with twins, the house work is never done. And as a stay at home mom, THAT’S OKAY.
Give yourself grace, mama!
Your goal for the day should be to have a happy child that is safe, fed and cared for. The housework is not important and can wait.
I waited until my twins were 5!
Now that they are old enough, I gave them more chores and responsibilities for their things.
They must clean up their toys when they are done playing with them and they must organize their toys – i.e. place all the Rescue Bots in their Rescue Station or the Barbies with their camper – before they go to bed.
And since they recently started Kindergarten, I have more time to tidy up the house in the morning before I start blogging.
2. Lower Your Expectations
Not with your child!
What I mean is lower your expectations about the plans for your day.
I know – in the morning you have grand ideas of running errands, picking up groceries, heading to the library and doing the mom + tot drop in.
But, you know what? Half of those things won’t get done, and that’s okay!
It all goes back to doing the simple things and enjoy the time you have with your child. I take my twins to the park as much as I can when the weather is warm (heck, even when it snows we head to the park for some slide luging!).
I know that when I’m at the park, a load of laundry needs to be folded and put away or the dishes need to run in the dishwasher or that my kitchen pantry really (REALLY) needs to be organized.
I have to let that go and lower my expectations for the day.
Have accomplishment for doing ONE thing that day and not feel like a failure for not doing the three things you wanted to do.
3. You Will Get Lonely
Being a stay at home mom can get lonely at times. Maybe with twins it’s more of a normal thing. For the first year, I did not leave the house with my newborn twins. It literally took me an hour to get everything ready for a 20 minute drive. It was not worth it.
As they got older, we went out more, but there would be days when I had little adult interaction.
This can get to you – if you don’t pay attention to it. That was one of the reasons I wanted to start blogging.
My twins had a regular schedule and I was getting bored folding laundry all day. I needed a creative outlet and starting a blog was the thing for me!
If you feel lonely try doing these things:
- Have a dance party!
- Listen to music
- Watch a funny movie
- Call your sister
- Have a date with your husband
- Have a stay-cation
- Get out there and walk – you’ll start to lose the baby weight fast!
4. Self-Care Suddenly Becomes the #1 Thing You Crave
For the first year, you are giving your body to your child. From carrying your child to breastfeeding (or bottle feeding – I did both!) to holding your little one, you are present in your little baby’s life.
As they age, you give your time and patience to your child. You become a teacher and help them understand their world. You are their cook, maid, driver, friend and protector.
Doing this leaves very little time for YOU. Well, it did for me.
So, you crave self-care in the form of long baths + lotion (I can’t get enough of this lotion!!!), quiet time, books, music and love from your husband.
When my twins go to sleep I blog and this is part of my self-care time. I listen to music and let myself get creative! And I love it!
5. You Can Only Play So Much
Maybe because I have twins I feel that all they want to do with me is play Barbie, lego, dinosaurs or dress up. It’s ALL.DAY!
And there’s only so much play I can muster up. Now, don’t get me wrong – I love playing, but I need some grown-up time and a coffee break too!
And, you know what? It’s okay if you don’t enjoy playing. Many moms don’t and you shouldn’t feel guilty of this.
As a stay-at-home mom there will be a lot of “on the floor” time and imaginative play. If this becomes a struggle at times, take a break.
I like doing the Play, Stay, Walk Away approach.
Doing this also frees up time to handle those chores!
6. Getting Sick is Common
Mamas, NO ONE told me how sick our family would get now that I have children! Wow! As soon as my twins entered school they’ve had:
- Noro virus
- Hand Foot mouth disease
- 100 day cough
- Fever upon fever
Luckily no strep throat…yet!!!!
And my husband and I get these sicknesses too! You would think being an adult would give us some immunity…but nope! It does not.
We are no match to this stuff. So be prepared mama!
Being a Stay At Home Mom Is Still the Best Decision I Ever Made
This list might seem a bit gloom, but I wouldn’t have it any other way.
I’m fortunate to be able to stay home with my twins, work at home and provide for my family while raising my children. It’s a true blessing and I know staying home was the best thing for them.
If you want to stay home, check out this post on 63 ways to live on one income so that you can stay home.
Now you tell me – what lessons have you learned from staying at home? Tell me in the comments.
Please pin me!